This is the grand daddy of them all when it comes to kids and holidays. The flashing lights, powdery snow, and that tree. Oh! That tree. Prominently standing in the center of a field of neatly gift-wrapped presents, entwined by a vine of bulbs, spotted with glossy ornaments, and crowned with a shimmering star. Who isn’t happy during this season?
There you are on Christmas Eve, sitting on your couch with midnight looming right around the corner. You’re cushioned warmly in between your parents and watching A Christmas Story for the 12th time this week. You’re not complaining though – it gets better with each viewing, and my God, would someone hand you a Red Ryder BB Gun already?!
You’re determined to stay awake until the break of dawn so you can open your presents. Your parents have dared you to every year, and you’ve accepted the challenge each time to no avail. But this year’s different. This year you’re eight damnit. “Old and all grown up,” you think. Your eyelids begin to grow heavy, but you try to convince yourself “NO! This year, THIS YEAR! I am determined… to stay… a-”
You wake up in your bed the next morning and wonder, “How did I end up back here?” Little do you know that in the not-so-distant future you’ll be asking that question quite often, except then it’ll likely be accompanied with a nasty hangover (and hopefully a chick… or two).
You squint your eyes as the rays from the morning sunshine seep through the cracks of the drapes and strike your face. You use the knuckles of your firsts to rub your eyes and clear your vision. It doesn’t take long before you finally realize… This morning isn’t just any morning.
It’s mother fucking Christmas.
You attempt to quickly take off your Power Ranger themed blanket in Bruce Almighty fashion:
“Get this shit off me!”
Your one-piece Batman pajamas provide you with a frictionless surface against the smooth carpet, allowing you to glide through the hallways in the same manner as Tom Cruise in Risky Business:
You then run into your parent’s room and start jumping around their bed while screaming like a mad man. “MOM! DAD! MOM! DAD! CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS!!”
You storm down hall, slide down the stairway railing, and dive just inches away from the tree. You lift a box wrapped in glossy gift-wrap. This bad boy’s got your name written all over it. You shake it and feel a million loose pieces dancing around inside of the box.
“Oh hell yeah,” you think. “Got me some Legos!”
You tear off the gift-wrap in excitement and find…
… A 1000 piece puzzle set of the Statue of Liberty.
“Ok, that’s cool,” You convince yourself. “Still got a couple of more gifts down there.”
You grab a large box near you. It’s a good size. It can fit a huge fire truck, or an entire train set, or maybe an Optimus Prime Transformer. However, you get a little suspicious because it’s kind of light in weight. But you think little of it and again tear off the gift-wrap in excitement and find….
… Oh no…
… This happens every year…
… A child’s worse nightmare when it comes to gifts…
… Clothes.
“Aw, isn’t this just the cutest sweater from your Aunt Jane!” Your mom exclaims.
“Ugh, I hate you Aunt Jane,” you mutter under your breath.
One more box to go. Third times the charm. This gift is a little smaller in size. It’s in the shape of… can it be? A VHS perchance? You’re excited. Maybe it’s Power Rangers, or Superman, or Pokemon the Movie! You pick it up and it’s firm in your hand. You’re 100% confident that you’re correct on this one. You begin to tear off the gift-wrap in excitement and find…
… The hardcover version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.
“THAT’S IT!”
You slam the book on the floor.
“MA! PA! ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW?!”
Your parents begin to burst in laughter. You’re a bit confused. No, you’re extremely confused. What can possibly be so funny? How can they find such joy in your pain and agony? How can any parent be so cruel as to leave a child without any reasonable toys? Then you parents disappear down the hallway. You hear the closet door open and close. They reappear with a large box in their hand. Your eyes grow in anticipation. Can it be? IT IS!
Merry Christmas everybody!
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My developer is making an attempt to persuade me to go to .web from PHP. I have often disliked the concept due to the fact of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the significantly less. I have been employing Movable-kind on a number of websites for abo…
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we like to honor quite a few other world wide web web-sites around the net, even though they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out
we prefer to honor a lot of other world wide web web sites on the net, even when they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out