1. I used to think that wind was formed from the movements of trees and plants. Yep, I believed that all the trees in the world decided, simultaneously, to dance and sway together in sweet harmony and fan their leaves to create wind. I thought that the trees had to be really mad when tornadoes were formed, probably because we cut their limbs, steal their fruit, build houses in them, build houses with them, pee on their trunks, snap their twigs, tear their leaves, and tie heavy tires on them.
But I did read The Giving Tree like a billion times at this age, aren’t we allowed to use every resource a tree has to offer?
2. I used to think that the sun followed me everywhere. Everywhere I walked, it moved with me. Even when I was in the backseat of my mom’s car going super fast, it was keeping up! For this reason, I made it my best friend.
No, seriously, I did…
Then I met the moon and thought it was way cooler. It didn’t blind me when I stared directly at it or make me sneeze. Plus, it changed shapes and stuff.
Things have been pretty awkward between the sun and me ever since.
3. I used to think that my dad was always stronger than your dad.
Heh, who am I kidding?
MY DAD STILL IS STRONGER THAN YOUR DAD.
4. I used to think that all the cities and buildings really were destroyed when making Independence Day. I thought, “Wow, that really sucks. All those cities had to be vaporized for the sake of this movie. Totally worth it though, this movie was awesome!”
But then I was really confused when I saw Downtown LA and it was still perfectly fine. I asked my older brother, “Hey, how did they destroy LA in the movie but nothing happened in real life?”
“Oh, they use special effects in the movie.”
I was like
5. Do you know those oil-drilling rigs that bob up and down to pump oil? They’re usually found at the top of hills or open fields in the middle of nowhere. You know, these things:
Well, I used to think they were dinosaurs grazing in the grass.
The resemblance is uncanny:
And Jurassic Park was just released.
So, shut up.
6. One day, when I was about four, I remember running around my house being dumb as usual. My imagination entertained me for hours. Then I suddenly brought myself to a halt and stared intriguingly in to a mirror. As I continued to look at myself, I slowly raised my hand and began clenching and unclenching my fist. Then I waved my hand in front of my face. Then I performed a lethal jab.
Then I thought to my self, “Holy crap! How am I able to move my body however I desire? How, seemingly without thinking at all, can I command my body to move, and blink, and jump, and wave, and punch?!”
Then my 30-second limit for my attention span expired and I ran off being dumb again. Good timing too; I think if I spent another second thinking about it my head would’ve exploded – a four year old should not be pondering such things!
7. I used to think that the world was my playground:
Oh, that’s not a tree, that’s my secret fortress (BUT DON’T MAKE IT ANGRY).
That’s not a sidewalk, that’s my chalkboard.
That is not a wall, it’s my handball court.
That is not a window, it’s a target for my rocks.
That’s not grass, it’s hot, molten lava – keep off!
