1. ratemyprofessors.com determines which classes you take
2. Although easy teachers are awesome, great teachers are hard to come by. Track them down, take their classes.
3. During finals week, make sure to stock up on tons of candy, cookies, chips, cup cakes, crackers, etc. (You’ll need the calories – Procrastination is extremely strenuous on the body).
4. It doesn’t matter how terrible something you cooked is, just drench it in Sriracha sauce.
5. Senioritis is the second most infectious disease on campus (The first being herpes. Jk. Kind of).
6. With great credit card limit comes great responsibility.
7. Textbooks cost an arm and a leg.
8. Then you can sell it back for a pinky nail.
9. Prepare to fight to the death for your security deposit when your lease is over – your landlord will think you destroyed the house.
10. Having a textbook open in front of you while browsing through Facebook passes as “studying.”
11. Actually learning something from a class and getting a poor grade > Memorizing, regurgitating, and forgetting everything for a good grade (Just kidding, mom)
12. Get very familiar with dollar-menus.
13. The only excuse for not drinking that isn’t met with retaliation and scrutinizing interrogation from your friends is if you are the designated driver – pull that card if you have to.
14. – point font periods are your friend. (See what I did there? *bows*)
15. Know how to smoothly talk your way out of a fake-ID shakedown. Exhibit A:
Cashier: Hey, this isn’t you!
Me: Ummmmm, y-y-es it –
Cashier: Get out of here before I call the cops!
Me: *yells at friends* GO GO GO!