I’ve had a few different rites of passage in my lifetime. At some point, I learned to walk and formulate sentences. I had my first day of school, I learned to ride a bike, I had my first crush, and I was finally potty trained…Not necessarily in that order.
I lost my first tooth, I learned to drive a car, I turned 18, I graduated from high school, I finally hit puberty…Once again, not necessarily in that order, I turned 21, And recently, I graduated from college. Now I’m apparently an “adult” with a full-time job.
There aren’t a whole lot of forseeable milestones left- with the exception of getting married and having babies. (Whassupp laddieessss.) It freaks me out, to be honest with you. People always told me to enjoy being a kid/teenager/college student while it lasts. Now all of a sudden I’m here. (“here” being the end of all enjoyment.)
I try my best to look mature on the outside. I wake up at 5:30am and drink coffee every morning. I listen to John Coltrane on my way home from work. I have two cell phones and make that apparent to everyone by using them to text myself repeatedly… and many mornings, I don’t shave. (This actually just makes me look like stupid.)
On the inside though, I enjoy superhero movies and One Direction, refuse to clean my room, and the word “Penal System” makes me giggle. Some might say I’m somewhere between a 3 and 78 year old.
But I’m learning to deal with that uncertainty. I think as a culture we’re a little obsessed with milestones and labels. As graduation season is upon us, we’re constantly being reminded that it’s the end of that, and the beginning of this. A new chapter. A new season. A new beginning. We’re always focused on where we’re going and when we’ll get there. Life’s a journey and if you’re not moving, you’re not living.
I take the train to work because my office is really far. It actually probably eats up more time, but it allows me to work during my commute and not have to worry about traffic. Altogether, I spend about 5 hours a day on the train.
There will probably be tons of posts to come about the weird people intricacies of the train, so I’ll save those for later, but it’s been just a week and I already feel like an Amtrak pro.
When you’re on a train, you’ve gotta know what time your train leaves, from what station, how many stops it makes, and what time you’ll get to your destination. The conductors come around and write where you’re headed on a piece of paper they stick above your seat, allowing them (and everyone else) to see where you’re going.
Even though I’m totally a pro… I accidentally got on the wrong train the other day. Getting on the wrong train is a lot like getting on the wrong freeway… in the same way that car accidents are a lot like riding bumper cars.
You can’t just make a quick exit and get going the opposite direction. You’re pretty much helpless until the train stops, then you have to get off and wait for the next train headed the right direction. In total, this mistake was going to delay me about 3 hours.
As I sat powerlessly on a train going the wrong way, I thought about where I’d end up, where I was supposed to be going, and all the time I was wasting. Life seemed pretty awful at the moment… I wouldn’t be home until around 11pm and you know, I wake up at 5:30am because I’m an adult. Eventually, however, I was forced to deal with the lack of control I had in the situation. I sat back, looked out the window, and saw this:
(forgive me if it’s amateur. I know nothing about photography.)
And for a little bit, I actually enjoyed the moment. Where I was headed and finding a way to get home was important, but so was the present, because I’m thoroughly convinced that God made beautiful things like oceans and sunsets for us to enjoy, and if I didn’t take a moment to delight in it, I’d be missing out.
If you’re graduating, or jobless, or wondering what the next phase is: take a step back and enjoy your present situation. It might seem like you’re not going anywhere in life, or even like you’re going the wrong way, but there’s a time for everything. Success will come. Failure will come. Rest will come. Work will come. Sadness will come, and happiness will come.
And not necessarily in that order.
image by simply sanjuan
