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Angry Tumblr Critic Vol. 1

Published on: Jul 26 2012 by Michael Lee

On many occasions I have heard people raise the terrifying possibility that people are dumber now than ever before. I try to counter this belief with, I don’t think people are getting dumber. It’s just that thanks to the interwebs and social media sites, we SEE more dumb people than ever before. Now pretty much anyone can say almost anything, which could easily spread like wild fire with the single click of a “share” button and may cause us to react in ways only memes can explain:

So it’s not necessarily true that people are dumber than ever, but dumb people are getting more exposure than ever before. However, sometimes when I stumble in the streets of Tumblr I find myself questioning my defense for society’s intelligence… Maybe we are dumber than ever?! I came across so many ridiculous pictures that I decided to make a post to comment and translate some of them. I am an angry Tumblr critic.

 

 

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Commentary: I don’t know, man. Your backpack doesn’t necessarily scream “COME AT ME, BRO!”

 

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Commentary: Ah, yes. The handwritten message on an index card held up in such a manner to hide the subject’s face – nothing resonates more with Tumblr fans.  Tips to this guy: cut your fingernails. Also, do you need all 5 fingers to hold up this dinky card?

 

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Commentary: I’m sorry, what did you say? I wasn’t paying attention because I was staring at this slut’s panties.

 

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Commentary: D’aww, you’re so sweet Chris Brown! “I love this guy, he could do no wrong!!”

 

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Translation: Don’t date birds. Bitches will just leave you when they migrate south for the winter.

 

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Commentary: Wearing a cap with formal attire? In that case, you must be a confused teenager.

 

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Commentary: I wonder how the conversation played out moments before this magical moment.

Girl: “Hey, honey, let’s take a cute picture of us kissing through this fence! Hop over.”

Guy: “Aw, do I have to? This thing has barbed wire on it.”

Girl: “Then go through the entrance.”

Guy: “The entrance is all the way –“

Girl: “JUST DO IT! AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE HAPPY WHEN YOU’RE KISSING ME, ALRIGHT? I’M GOING TO PUT CUTE TEXT OVER THIS PICTURE AND SHARE IT ON TUMBLR… Jill, sweetie, can you take this picture for us please :)”

 

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Translation: Changing outside in a public park is fresh, son!

Commentary: What is so important in that dude’s backpack that he only had time to put on one shoe before he decided he really needed this mystery item? I’m so curious!

 

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Commentary: *Sigh* This image couldn’t be more inappropriately out of context.

 

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Commentary: I just went through more “swag” pictures than I am proud to admit… Dude, you look and dress just like every other guy I saw. You are ordinary.

 

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Translation: ???????

Commentary: *Puts gun barrel in mouth*

 

 

image by gabbayy

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