This is a post about how everything had to go just perfectly for the Lakers to land Dwight Howard. And how everything did.
RJ:This is Robert here, I will be periodically interrupting this post with my take on all the events in a geeky-humorous way in an effort to mask my pain as a lifelong Laker-hater and Phoenix Suns fan.
First of all, I’d just like to give a quick shout out to Mitch Kupchak. The man transformed the Lakers in the three months since being ousted by the OKC Thunder from a team with a fragile identity (We’re old, Kobe’s salary is clogging our cap, Our bench is sh-t, Is Andrew Bynum really our future? If he is, where does Pau fit?) to a championship-or-bust team now and the potential to keep a guy who will be our marquee player for several years to come. I can imagine right after finalizing the four-team blockbuster trade, Mitch saying “And that’s how you get ‘er done.” *drops mic, walks off stage with both arms raised*. Kudos, Mitch, kudos. Secondly, we have to show some appreciation for our problem project child Andrew Bynum. You had your ups and down on and off the court, but boy can you ball. Stay healthy and keep balling!
RJ: What few people realize is that Mitch Kupchak is actually a Jedi. He uses abnormally high levels of midi-chlorians to coerce weak-minded GMs into trading him good players for heaping piles of poop with a cherry on top. (minus the cherry.) Although I have to give him credit for being strong in the force, I hate him with every fiber of my being for killing Natalie Portman. Uh. I mean always making such good moves for the dark side. Uh. I mean the Lakers.
Anyway, the Dwightmare is finally over. The best center of our generation is finally a Laker. We were able to keep Pau Gasol. We no longer have to pretend that Andrew Bynum is nearly as good as Dwight Howard, that he can mature, that we’re not worried he’ll re-injure himself, and that he can be our future. There are so many different variables that played its part in order for this fateful event to transpire. Let’s start off by going back to December 8, 2011 – a day where I rode one of the biggest emotional roller coasters of my life.
The Veto
It was noon and I was cramming my last minute studying in before my final at 3:30 PM. That’s when my twitter started buzzing from a myriad of sports columnists: a potential Lakers trade for Chris Paul had gained substance. I was completely distracted and no longer gave a single thought towards my final (Jk Mom, I aced it!). As the minutes passed, the trade continued to transform from “the teams are talking” to “holy crap, this might actually happen”. Then, about an hour before my final, the trade was a done deal. The Lakers traded Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom to land CP3, while also shedding nearly $20 million dollars in cap space. Who lands a superstar and saves money?!
I went into my final like a giddy kid – Christmas had come early. All I could do was daydream about Chris Paul effortlessly feeding the ball to Kobe and Bynum. I turned in my final without any worry of how terribly I might’ve scored (100% mom, I swear!). I kicked open the double doors of the lecture hall and thought, This is the best way to start off my winter break!
Then I looked at my phone… I received messages like:
“WTF DAVID STERN?!!”
“STERN!!!!”
“Dude, you hear what happen?!”
We all know the story from there…
Like myself, Lamar Odom was just as heartbroken. He demanded a trade that gave us Dallas’s trade exception and a protected first round pick. In other words, it seemed like we just traded the 6th man of the year for nothing. However, this turned out to be a crucial move that would help us land Steve Nash, but more on that later.
Side note: I think after the CP3 trade got nixed, Jim Buss and Mitch devised a plan to dedicate the 2011-12 season into landing Dwight Howard. They called Mike Brown into the office and had a meeting that probably went something like:
Buss: Ok, that Stern mother fu-ker really screwed us over.
Kupchak: Lamar’s not happy. He wants out.
Buss: Trade him for nothing. We need to save cap space.
Brown: Woah, but I’ll have no scoring off my bench!
Buss: SHUT UP, MIKE! That veto ruined our season. It’s shortened anyway – no one gives a sh-t about the Spurs winning in ’99, right? We’re going with plan B.
Brown: Plan B?
Buss: We’re getting Dwight Howard.
Kupchak: *Mr. Burns fingers* Eggggscellent.
Brown: And just how are we going to do that?
Buss: Kobe just got some dubious surgery in Germany – he thinks he’s 23 again. Mike, give him the ball and let him do whatever the f-ck he wants. Keep him happy.
Brown: I can do that.
Buss: Also, kick Pau out 15-17 feet away from the rim. We need to give Bynum all the space in the block as we can.
Brown: What?! He’s more comfortable playing closer to the basket. He won’t be happy with that!
Kupchak: You know what, I’ll flirt with Pau trades until the trade-deadline so he’ll be too scared to retaliate.
Buss: You’re a genius. Now Mike, after Kobe gets his, you make sure Bynum gets a ton of touches. We need to boost his numbers and prove he’s the second best center in the league; we’re getting Dwight Howard…
RJ: When Chris Paul got traded to the Lakers, I was really, really sad. Just the year before, he had reminded everyone he was still the best point guard in the NBA, as he single handedly pushed the Lakers to an exciting 6 game series. Along the way, Pau Gasol had his ankles broken approximately 48 times, and people actually thought Jarrett Jack and Carl Landry were quality NBA players. Watching him go to the
dark sideLakers really hurt., as anyone who could embarrass them like he did is always OK in my book. As soon as I heard the news, I hated him, just as I hate anyone the instant I hear they’re putting on the purple and gold. (more on this later.)When I heard about the veto, I rejoiced. For once, it seemed like the Lakers finally got a bad bounce. Kupchak might have jedi powers, but Stern rules the galaxy, and in an unprecedented abuse of power, Stern vetoed the trade, gave us Lob City, turned the Rockets core of Lowry, Martin, and Gasol into Jeremy Lin and Omer Asik (aka team “We thought their teams would match”), and rigged the draft lottery for the 85th time. And to be honest, the NBA is better for it. (Everyone outside of Houson agrees.)
Derek Fisher is Traded/Ramon Sessions Opts Out
On March 15th, 2012, the Lakers traded our beloved Derek Fisher and the first-round pick we received from Dallas to Houston for Jordan Hill while also trading Jason Kapono, LUUUUUUUKE!, and our 2012 first-round pick for Ramon Sessions and Christian Eyenga. From a basketball standpoint, the trades made perfect sense; the Lakers were able to shed salary while also finding the youthful point guard they’ve been after since the CP3 veto. Although it came at the price of losing a fan favorite, the trade was a wise decision in improving our team and payroll.
RJ: Jedi Kupchak was at it again in March. He somehow flipped Kapono, Luke Walton, and a 2012 first round pick for a decent NBA player. The negotiations went something like this:
Kupchak: Hi, this is Mitch Kupchak. How bout Luke Walton, and my first round pick for Sessions and uh… I dunno, Christian Eyenga.
Cavs GM Chris Grant: LOL. Are you kidding me? Luke Walton is useless. I’d rather just sell the chair at the end of our bench where he’d be sitting all season. At least then I’d have $100 to spend.
Kupchak: You will take Luke Walton. And Jason Kapono as well.
Grant: Ok. I will take Luke Walton and Jason Kapono as well.
Kupchak: And these are not the droids you’re looking for.
Grant: Thank you for taking Sessions, a reliable backup to Kyrie Irving, off my hands and giving me a heaping pile of poop with a cherry on top (minus the cherry) in return.
Right off the bat, it looked like Sessions would help us play at a higher level. We saw bursts of speed and athleticism the Lakers lacked at the point guard position since Nick Van Exel (no, I will not say “since Smush Parker”…). However, Sessions disappeared in the post-season and Mike Brown opted to use Steve Blake for long periods down the stretch and to close games. After the season was over, Sessions decided to test out free agency and became an unrestricted free agent, hoping to land a multi-year contract in the prime years of his career. That makes sense, right? Only that the multi-year contract he ended up with was 2 years, 9 million dollars with… the Charlotte Bobcats (Congratulations, Ramon…?). This ended up being great for the Lakers. Had Sessions decided to stay with us for one more year we would not be actively pursuing another point guard, but now we had a void to fill, which led to…
The Steve Nash Trade
On July 4th the Lakers traded four draft picks (two first rounder’s and two second rounder’s) for point guard Steve Nash in a sign-and-trade deal with our rivals, the Phoenix Suns. Just this trade in itself had many factors that had to go right for the Lakers to land the two-time MVP:
The kids: Steve Nash reported multiple times that the biggest factor for him when considering a new team was the proximity with his children. The Toronto Raptors and New York Knicks made strong pushes for Nash, and they seemed like possible suitors since A) He is Canadian and B) He resides in NY during the offseason. However, being across the country for most of the year meant he would not be able to see his children often. The decision to choose LA was much easier since it is only a one-hour flight away from Phoenix.
The trade exception: The trade exception we received from Dallas for Lamar Odom made the Steve Nash trade possible because it helped absorb Nash’s contract. Lamar’s dramatic fallout and desire to be traded proved to be essential.
The respect: Teams tend to shy away from trades that will help improve conference rivals, but Steve Nash built such a respect from the Suns that there was no way they could possibly deny any of his desires. He was a two-time MVP for the franchise, made them one of the most entertaining teams to watch in the 2000’s, is one of the greatest Suns ever, never complained or caused drama (even while playing with mediocre rosters), and is by far one of the most likeable players in the league.
RJ: Remember how I said I was upset about CP3 joining the
dark sideLakers? As a lifelong Suns fan and Laker hater, Steve Nash’s move could only really be compared to this:http://youtu.be/pSwy412nttI?t=6m58s
I’m still not quite ready to put into words about how I feel about Nash joining the Lakers. Talk to me after Nash becomes Darth Vader and eventually has a change of heart, killing the Sith Lord (Kobe Bryant) in a final act of redemption.
The Dwight Howard Saga
Dwight opts in to the final year of his contract:
Dwight had one of the most bizarre, indecisive situations we have ever witnessed from a professional athlete. Had he clearly established what he wanted, there is no doubt he would be in a Brooklyn Nets jersey next season. The Nets were prepared to offer a package that included Brook Lopez, MarShon Brooks, multiple draft picks, and the willingness to retain some of the bad contracts Orlando had. However, Dwight, who was very self-conscious about his image and did not want to carry the same “bad guy” stigma that haunted Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James, decided to waive his early termination option and postponed his free agency until the summer of 2013. If the Magic were unable to convince Howard to stay one more year, they would have been forced to trade him before the deadline or else otherwise risk losing him as a free agent this summer for nothing.
RJ: People have been really hard on Dwight Howard about the whole “Dwightmare” thing. But when you review the facts, it’s pretty simple to understand why he did what he did.
Fact #1. Mitch Kupchak is a Jedi.
Dwight wants out… Again:
After claiming he was “too loyal” to leave Orlando when he waived his ETO… After the firing of Stan Van Gundy and GM Otis Smith… After sending his fans on one of the most agonizing seasons of Magic basketball, Dwight Howard reiterated his desire to be traded during the offseason. Suddenly, new GM Rob Hennigan had his hands full with reviewing offers from teams such as the Nets, Rockets, and Lakers. However, Hennigan was in no rush to pull the trigger, possibly even waiting until the trade deadline the following February.
RJ: Remember how Dwight Howard said he didn’t have a problem with Van Gundy? And then when a report came out that he explicitly asked for Van Gundy to be fired, Dwight swore he had no recollection of that happening? I think it’s pretty obvious what happened:
“Dwight, this is Mitch Kupchak. You will ask for Stan Van Gundy to be fired. After he is fired, you will ask to be traded.”
“Rob Hennigan, this is Mitch Kupchak. You will not accept an offer of Brook Lopez, Kris Humphries, MarShon Brooks, and four first rounders for Dwight Howard. You will force the Nets to move on. You will also not accept Houston’s offer to take your entire team’s worth of bad contracts, give you four or five first round picks, and a chance to have a completely empty roster for the 2013 season. Instead, you will wait for me to put together a four team trade that nets you a heaping pile of poop with a cherry on top. Minus the cherry.”
The Nets panic to keep Deron happy:
The Nets couldn’t wait on Dwight and the Magic forever – they had a more important player in their hands that they had to keep first: Deron Williams. Because of the Magic’s hesitancy and the need for multiple teams to be part of the trade to get Dwight in Brooklyn, the Nets moved on and made transactions to entice Deron Williams to sign a long term contract. The Nets resigned Gerald Wallace for four years, $40 million (?!! A 30-year old who relies on athleticism to do what he does best…), Brook Lopez for 4 years, $60 million (?!!! A 7-footer who averages 6 rebounds…), and traded with the Atlanta Hawks for Joe Johnson. The resigning of Brook Lopez essentially ended the possible trade with the Magic because Brook would not be trade-able until January.
RJ: “Prokhorov, this is Mitch Kupchak. You will trade for Joe Johnson’s ridiculous contract, and make him feel welcome by signing Brook Lopez and Gerald Wallace to equally ridiculous contracts. You will start an unbelievably stupid subplot for the 2012 NBA season: Who’s the best team in New York? AKA which core of players is a bigger waste of money?”
Dwight resides in the City of Angels:
For the past four months Dwight Howard has been living in Los Angeles while rehabilitating his back. During his time here, he’s been strolling in the streets of Beverley Hills, attended a Dodger game (courtesy of partial Dodger owner & Laker legend Magic Johnson), and has been experiencing what life would be like living in LA. These signs indicated that Dwight might have been warming up to the idea of playing for the Lakers in sunny Southern California.
The four-team blockbuster trade:
The Dwightmare came to an end on August 10th, 2012 as the four-team trade that sent Howard to the Lakers was made official. The trade seemed to make perfect sense for every team… Except the Magic. The Sixers got the star they were looking for (Andrew Bynum), the Nuggets shed salary and received a guy that is perfect for their up-tempo offense (Andre Iguodala), and the Lakers got Dwight Howard (YEYUHH!!!). The Magic got Aaron Afflalo (decent player), a bunch of other dudes that I’m too lazy to name (which says something about them…), and a bunch of draft picks (some of which are protected). Hennigan got some heat for this trade because the previous offers from the Nets seemed to make much more sense, but the GM insists that they got what they wanted from this trade… Alright dude, I’m not complaining!
RJ: “Rob, this is Mitch Kupchak. I know I’ve basically turned your brain into hummus with all of my Jedi mind tricks over the past few months, but just one more thing. You will publicly say that you got everything you wanted from this Dwight Howard trade.”
Nash eases the transition:
Ok, so why was I talking so much about how we got Steve Nash before Dwight Howard? Because Nash’s arrival is huge in making Dwight happy to play in LA and keeping him happy to stay here after his contract is over. Remember, it was rumored that around February of 2012 Kobe and Dwight had a phone conversation that didn’t go very well; apparently, Kobe tried to sway Dwight to play for LA as a pivotal anchor on defense and third option on offense (behind Kobe and Pau). Dwight, who yearns to be a top-option on offense, was not too pleased with Kobe’s intent. However, the addition of Steve Nash changes this entire dynamic because with Nash at the point there is no doubt Dwight will get easy baskets several times a game. Combine that with the amount of put-back opportunities he’ll get (Pau and Dwight both crashing the boards? A nightmare for opposing teams) and the need to run plays specifically for him just isn’t as necessary.
RJ: I feel like I was going to write something here… but… then I think my phone rang and all of a sudden I forgot. Huh. Well, I love Mitch Kupchak and that is all.
