The Approval Like
Your classic like. Probably what Zuckerberg originally intended, a convenient device used to show your appreciation or affirmation of something. It could be a status, a new relationship, or a cliché picture of a Frappucino.
The Disapproval Like
Slightly more confusing than its generic counterpart, this “Like” is actually a dislike. The dislike button was never added to Facebook, despite constant clamoring and petition schemes to get people’s email address.
Instead, we’re left to try to convey our disapproval through an obvious dislike like. This is applicable in statuses like “This day could not get any worse…” or “12 hour shift tonight…” or “My puppy just got caught underneath my lawn mower…” (Ok that was sadistic, sorry.) The point is, everyone knows these likes are actually dislikes, unless someone out there is really, really, really, sick.
The “I’m trying to flirt with you” Like
Riddle me this… how can you sneakily invade your crush’s every thought? Easy. Like everything they post. Eventually, they’ll be conditioned to expect a “Like” from you everytime they post something on Facebook. And on that day when you don’t… you have them right where you want them: missing you. Trust me, this works. Until…
The “I’m obsessed with you” Like
This occurs when you do a little too much of #3. You start noticing that one guy from junior high that you haven’t seen in 12 years keeps liking all your statuses and photos. The worst part? It’s mostly statuses and photos from 2009. That means they’re timeline creepin—hard. It’s time to change your privacy settings.
The Ambiguous like
Disapproval? Approval? Usually applicable only in response to an ended relationship on Facebook, the ambiguous like leaves most people confused. Are you saying you’re sad their relationship is over?… Or that you’re happy? Probably only you know. That’s the thing about likes, they don’t come with explanations. If they did, this wouldn’t be such a problem:
The Misclick Like
The worst and deadliest of all likes… you were probably trying to scroll down on your mobile device… when suddenly that like box comes out of nowhere and before you know it… you liked something you shouldn’t have. And there’s a 98% chance it’s creepy. Like maybe a girl you don’t really know said something like “Just got out of the shower.” Great. Now she’s gonna think you’re a creep. Or maybe you unlike it really fast and hope she didn’t notice? But then if she notices, you’re really screwed. Because nothing’s creepier than retroactively taking back a like.
The Meet a Cute Stranger Like
You leave a witty comment on your friend’s status. Maybe your friend said:
“Just stepped in gum… -_-”
And then you said “That sounds like a sticky [#pun] situation.” And a stranger says “That blows [#pun].” And then you say “Try taking shorter strides [#pun].” And then the stranger says “So many puns. I’ll step [#pun] aside.” Then you said “Guess that’s a wrap [#pun].” All the while, you like each other’s comments based on your shared sense of humor and then you find out that they’re actually really cute and funny and they have a blog or something and then you start dating or whatever.
(Possibly got carried away on this one.)
The “I don’t hate you anymore” Like.
You guys are currently fighting. They probably did something like punch you or stole your boyfriend. Or maybe they are your ex boyfriend. It’s been 3 years, and you’ve pretty much forgiven them. You don’t want to like… see them or anything though. So you like their status about going to the zoo or something. Zoos are innocuous. Just animals and children there. Everybody wins.
The “I saw this, but don’t feel a need to reply” Like
Especially useful on birthdays. If you’re popular, you probably got like 150 wall posts. If you got more, FINE YOU’RE MORE POPULAR THAN ME I GET IT.
…Or, someone comments on your status. Maybe you stepped in some gum earlier, and then your dorky blogger buddy got carried away in a pun war with a girl who’s already got a boyfriend. Something like that.
So you let your buddy know you saw their comments and appreciated them, but don’t feel a need to start a conversation. Like.
The Promotion Like.
Maybe your friend has a blog or something. You want to help them promote it, so you like their post. (below.) And their facebook page. And their hot new youtube video. Because you’re a good person like that.
Ahem.
image by shespeaks.com
