“Because I watched the trailer and it seems pretty intense!”
The Gatsby trailers are enticing. They’re a dazzling array of partying, luxury, sex, Carey Mulligan crying, and DiCaprio’s forehead all set to a lively number by half of the White Stripes. When I start to think about The Great Gatsby though… the story is not very exciting. It may be the classic American Novel, but here’s a brief synopsis of the story:
Gatsby is rich
Gatsby is in love with Daisy
But she’s married
Daisy and Gatsby start hanging out
Tobey Maguire narrates the whole thing
Daisy starts driving a little too fast
Things get cray
With the exception of “Things get cray” where is the excitement in that story arch?
“Because I LOVED the book in high school”
No you didn’t! You are such a liar! You know as well as I do that you Sparknoted the entire thing through high school.
Here’s what you remember about The Great Gatsby.
Uh… there’s Gatsby… and Daisy… and she’s married to uhh…. To…. To Tom! And there’s a narrator… (I think his name is Tobey) and then like… Gatsby is new money, but like… everyone else is old money… and there’s this green light… OH! And then like… they say “Old Sport” a bunch of times and then Daisy starts driving a little too fast and then things get cray.
“The director did Moulin Rouge!”
Listen, I love me some Moulin Rouge. Everytime Ewan McGregor sings “Come What May” and he’s running down the aisle at the theatre, I turn into a heaping mess of hormones and jazz hands, but let’s be fair, Baz Luhrman also directed another high school literature film gem: Romeo + Juliet.
(no, not the one with boobs)
The one with Leo and Claire Danes. Foggy memory? It goes something like this:
I know what you’re thinking: that wasn’t a real trailer, was it? (It was, with real clips from the movie too!)
“The all-star cast!”
Leonardo DiCaprio is great- probably in the conversation for best actor alive right now. But let’s examine the rest of the team.
Tobey Maguire
Popular movies:
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2
Spider-Man 3
Seabiscuit
Pleasantville
Popular movies released after America elected its first black President:
(?)
Carey Mulligan
Who?
Ok, that’s a little unfair. She was in umm (Robert, go check imdb.com before you post this because you honestly have no clue who this is)
“Because I love the 20s!”
The Roarin 20s were awesome! Flappers! Bobbed hair cuts! Moonshine!
I know so much about the 1920s. The American Presidents were uh….
One of the most popular songs during the 20s was um…
There was that one movie from the 20s, it was called… umm… well… it had that one actor/actress in it named uh…. Ok, we know nothing about the 1920s.
“Because the soundtrack is awesome!”
That is true. Good point. I have no comeback.
If only it were possible to listen to the soundtrack without seeing the movie…
image from the Great Gatsby movie that I’m really excited for.
