What comes to mind when you think of Flappy Bird? Anger? Frustration? Confusion? Defeat? Personally, all the negative words I can think of come to my mind when I hear Flappy Bird. Yet, I’m still drawn to the game and still play it even though I know what the outcome will be (losing before you even hit double digits). It makes everyone who plays this game so angry, but they always come back for more.

For some of you, this sounds a lot like your last (or current, no judgments) dating relationship. Flappy Bird and dating someone actually have a lot more in common than you think. For example, once you’re past the honeymoon stage of a relationship, your dating life starts to become somewhat routine. Meet up at her house or your house, talk, eat, occasionally go out somewhere nice, and do whatever people dating do. This starts to get boring, and eventually you start getting sick of each other. Things that your significant other once said or did now start to bug you. Frustration, annoyance, and confusion is at an all-time high. You then start to wonder if the person you are dating is the right fit for you. BUT, the very next day, your girlfriend says something that makes all the hair on your body stand up:

“Want to spice things up tonight?”

 

 

You do things beyond your wildest imagination with your girlfriend, and somewhere throughout this whole process your girlfriends’ hot friend makes a guest appearance. You forget about EVERYTHING! About that fact that your partner has been annoying you, frustrating you, making you angry, and every part of you that wanted to end this relationship has suddenly vanished into thin air.

THAT is exactly what Flappy Bird does to you. You die at 0, die at 1, die at 3, and this keeps going on. You’re at a point where you just want to delete the game and never speak of it again. BUT, out of nowhere, you score a 15! NEW RECORD! You forget EVERYTHING! It doesn’t matter that you spent three weeks frustrated and annoyed because you couldn’t get past 3. All that matters is that you got a 15 and life is good again.

So you’re telling me that the wildest sex I can imagine is just as great as getting a new record on Flappy Bird?

YES. Do you believe me now? Flappy Bird and dating have a lot in common. You can actually tell what kind of lover somebody will be by the type of Flappy Bird player they are. For example:

1. The Silent One

This is the Flappy Bird player that doesn’t make a sound or express any emotion when he/she plays the game. For all you know, this person may not even be playing Flappy Bird. When everyone else is complaining about the game in social gatherings, this person will be on the side just taking it all in. He or she might throw in a little, “That game can get a bit frustrating.” However, it’s very subtle and drowned out by the others yelling like they are on steroids.

How does this translate relationship-wise? This Flappy Bird player will be patient with his or her partner. They usually follow the lead of their partner, and will try to avoid conflict at all cost. The silent one loves their partner very much. However, the partner does not feel like they are getting loved because it is hard for the silent one to express his or her emotions. Therefore, misunderstandings can occur and it takes a partner who truly understands The silent one to make the relationship work.

2. The Uncommitted Player (see what I did there?)

This is the Flappy Bird player that uninstalls the game after playing it for just a few days. These players don’t understand why they have to play something so incredibly annoying. They do not see the joy in suffering over a measly game. Instead of keeping the game in their phone, they opt to uninstall it so that they won’t be tempted to play with it ever again. How does this translate relationship-wise? The uncommitted player is the type of person who does not wait in a relationship. They will immediately be turned off by anyone who rubs them the wrong way. This makes it difficult for people who are trying to date The uncommitted player because they don’t have many opportunities to capitalize. Furthermore, they will erase you from their memory if they do not want to deal with you ever again. The uncommitted player may walk out on you any time during the relationship. However, the person who meets all of their requirements will forever be loved. Why? The uncommitted player goes through relationships just as fast as you die in Flappy Bird so that they can find the person they can be with forever. Or, they may just end up leaving you. Good luck with this one.

3. The Loud Attention Whore

This is the player that yells every time he or she dies in Flappy Bird. It is obvious that this person is playing Flappy Bird when he or she has a phone in their hand. They will start to complain about how difficult the game is and vow to never play it again. Eventually, you will see them playing Flappy Bird 10 minutes later and the cycle will repeat all over again.

How does this translate relationship-wise? The loud attention whore seeks attention in a relationship. They have no problem arguing in front of many people and will speak their mind if they see a problem. Their intentions are in the right place, but they are not very tactical in their approach. They are easy to forgive and get along with because they are always willing to talk it out. However, they are prone to making the same mistakes over and over again. Therefore, the partner has to be patient and understanding.

4. The Boastful, but Really Seriously Awesome Best Lover Ever

This is the player that lets everyone know he just hit a new record. He or she will go around asking what everyones high score is because he or she knows that they have them beat. They will also use social media to tell the world what his or her score is and #flappybird so that they can rub it in the creator’s face. )(Although that’s not really a possibility anymore since they quit.)

How does this translate relationship-wise? The boastful, but really seriously awesome best lover ever has self-esteem issues… maybe. I mean, probably not though. He or she is always trying to prove that they are great at something so that they can be happy about themselves. (In reality, they are pretty awesome though) Some may say that this type of person is cocky, arrogant, and conceited. Those people are stupid.

The boastful, but really seriously awesome best lover ever‘s partner will always feel that they come second and the boastful, but really seriously awesome best lover ever comes first. I don’t see a problem here.

It is difficult for The boastful, but really seriously awesome best lover ever to love their partner as much as they love themselves, but that’s mostly because the boastful, but really seriously awesome best lover ever is just so darn lovable. It’s hard not to be a little impressed with myself. Themselves. This isn’t about me.

Nevertheless, the boastful, but really seriously awesome best lover ever is one of the BEST types to date! They are sweet, charming, and romantic. You just need to get over the fact that they…

WAIT, you’re only saying this because you brag about your new record EVERY SINGLE DAY on Instagram! THIS ENTIRE SECTION WAS ABOUT YOU

No it’s not!

You only wrote that last part so that it can make you look good! Stop trying to make us feel bad by telling us what “type” of person we are in a relationship, and work on yourself you insecure bitch!

Looks like we found ourselves the loud attention whore…

image from Flappy Bird