“You know what this site is missing?” I thought to myself one afternoon. “A post about pregnancy! Specifically a post about how cool pregnancy will be someday. Gosh, why haven’t Robert and Michael covered that topic already?”
So I though I’d capitalize on this gap in Dyingread information and tell you all about the best reasons why being a pregnant woman is going to be the coolest thing, ever.
To clarify, I’m not talking about all stages of the pregnancy. The morning sickness, the swollen feet and the strangers always touching your stomach (“Woah, woah, woah! This cute baby bump does not give you permission to be anywhere near me. Please get your clammy hands away from my unborn child.”) are not on my list. But besides those little details—and perhaps the actual labor and delivery section—I think the rest of pregnancy is going to be a lot of fun.
Reason 1: Choosing the Baby Name
What could be more enjoyable than pouring over 1,000 Greatest Baby Names every evening with your husband, testing out how each one sounds and discovering if you can make some inappropriate words with your little angel’s initials? The collaboration stage of naming a baby also allows for some exciting conversations about your spouse’s idea of beauty. True story: when my mom was pregnant with me, she told my dad that she wanted to name me Clancy. A beautiful and noble name. My dad gently reminded her that he’d be on board if they were having a horse, but they would need to think of another name for their infant. (To all of our Clancy readers, don’t listen to him. You’re still beautiful and noble.)
Reason 2: Developing Random Cravings
I’m a foodie in general, which makes me think that being pregnant is going to look like nine months of Man Vs. Food (except, of course, that my show would be called Pregnant Woman Vs. Copious Amounts of Dark Chocolate.) Unfortunately, I’ve heard that some women don’t get random cravings. They don’t develop an unquenchable desire to eat pickles and peanut butter together. Thus I’ve decided that if I don’t get really strange cravings, I’ll need to pretend. Mostly to fulfill Reason Number Three.
Reason 3: …But I’m Pregnant
Normally I’m an on-the-ball type of person. I stress about deadlines. I have some perfectionist tendencies. I like to organize the clothes in my closet by color (and then by type…and then by style…) but when I’m pregnant, I’m really looking forward to the opportunities when I get to state that I would like something done because I am (very obviously) carrying a child. The conversation might go something like this:
Me: “Hey baby? Honey, wake up. I really need you to go to Krispy Kreme and get me seven Chocolate-Iced-Custard-Filled donuts.
Hubby: “Huh? Sweetie, it’s 4:00 in the morning.”
Me: “I know, but it’s very important. I’ll write it down for you.”
Hubby: “Darling, I love you, but we don’t even have a Krispy Kreme in our town. I’ll have to drive for forty-five minutes to get to the nearest one. We have muffins in the pantry…would a muffin work?”
Me: “A muffin? A muffin?! Don’t you know that I am carrying your child? This baby needs his daily dose of high-quality Barvarian Crème!”
Hubby: “How foolish of me! You’re right. I’ll get my keys.”
Me: “Thanks, Babe. Clancy and I really appreciate it.”
image by westsideoptometrynow
