I recall watching the movie The Holiday once. I remember a few things… Cameron Diaz’s life as a movie trailer, Kate Winslet perpetually depressed, Jack Black making fantastically realistic trumpet sounds, and Jude Law as Mr. Napkin head.
I think the overall idea of the movie was about the worst possible fate a person can suffer— being single around Christmas time.
I’ve had 24 years of experience to cope, so let me build a survival guide for you.
Yes, that’s right, I’ve never purchased a Christmas gift for that special someone. (Technically, I once bought a special someone a birthday gift around Christmas time, but it was decidedly not a Christmas gift. It was a teddy bear. It cost me $10, I think. I am romantic.)
Non-Christmical stuffed animals included, I’ve probably saved over $1000 on just Christmas gifts over the past 10 years that I could’ve been dating. (That sentence was supposed to be happy, but somehow it came out very, very sad.) Money I have used to spoil myself with luxuries like the 2000 Buick Century I drive around. (That one was supposed to be sad. Nailed it.) Which brings me to tip #1.
1. Think about how much money you’ll be saving this season… and buy yourself something nice!
There will be plenty of time when you settle down with that special someone to buy them stuff like wooly socks or a charm bracelet from Kay Jewelers or a Mercedes or something like that, but for now, all your discretionary income goes to you!
So go all out! Are you a girl? Buy yourself some jewelry! Are you a man? Buy yourself a tie! This, I have determined, is the meaning of Christmas. Don’t have money or a job? Well… that’s point #2.
2. Take advantage of all the time you have to yourself
Once you’re attached and in a serious relationship, you won’t really have time for anything. That includes yourself. So use the extra time and have yourself a merry little Christmas!
Read a book. Watch an entire season of the Walking Dead. Take up knitting. Relax by the fire with a blanket drinking hot chocolate. Just sit alone for a while. This is starting to sound lonely… so… tip #3!
3. Use the holiday time to catch up with old friends
Most people return home for Christmas, so go hang out with them! Grab coffee and catch up on life with some old friends you haven’t seen in a while. You guys can get together and talk about… well, the first thing you’ll probably talk about is whether you’re dating. (You’ll want to practice saying “Nope, I’m single right now!” as cheerfully as possible).
But heyyy maybe they’re single too! You can use this opportunity to flirt with a high school/college crush. (Everyone I’ve contacted to hang out over the break is now very creeped out.) Old flame rekindling schemes aside, people are probably just as bored as you are during the break and they’d love to hang out with you.
If you don’t have any friends…
4. Spend time with the family
And by family I mean those closest to you. Once you’re in a relationship, you’ll probably suffer through your main squeeze’s awkward family gatherings where people probe you (That is, ask you) about your career and invite you to go on fishing trips or a day spa or something.
Or maybe they have a well intentioned cousin who asks really awkward questions like “Are you guys gonna get married?” or “Are you guys in love?” Or maybe they have a really obnoxious junior high cousin that asks about sex a lot.
…Just saying, this could happen.
All of a sudden you’ll miss those really weird Christmas traditions your family has like watching Home Alone or baking cookies or unwrapping presents at midnight or wearing Christmas Jammies. (Nobody really does this, but still.) So while you still have it…
5. Be thankful for what you have
Seriously, calm down! Enjoy your time as a single person! It’s perfectly ok to be single during Christmas…
…But don’t get caught dateless come New Year’s Eve. That sucks.
image by madjank
